Shame on anyone for thinking that WLS patients or advocates are sizists. I will always be that fat woman. Always. Unfortunately she was not working for me and I am a hell of a lot more content with a light body to carry around with my degenerative arthritis, Lupus, intermittent brain swelling and joints that are too flexible . . .but most of all I am happy to have lost the burden of shame and ridicule -most of which is disguised in everyday interaction.
Unless you have a hidden camera or recording device you'll have no idea what they say about you behind your back!
A few years back I sat on a committee where we interviewed applicant for a therapist position.
Joyce was big, really big but by far she was the best choice- as fora as I was concerned. The group met on a Sunday over breakfast while we went though the applications. No one in the group knew me as the 300-pounder I once was or they wouldn't have said what they did that morning.
"Joyce obviously can't handle anyone with an eating disorder," giggled Sandy. I knew Sandy did have an eating disorder, bulimia, one she kept hidden form our group but I smelled when she left the bathroom with puke on her breath.
"Oh my God, can you imagine going out to lunch with her," laughed Terry. I ate lunch with terry for years; she was a cheap bitch who never paid her share, ate of my plate and then had the nerve to sneak money from the tip.
As they went around the table I had time to search my purse for my business card, the one i use when i run weight groups. I keep them on me, one side shows me at in underwear, topping the scales at 300+ and the other side half of me. Under the pictures is the sentence: Which Woman Would You Hire as Your Therapist?
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I flipped the picture-card out, threw down a $20 and left.
Joyce was hired. The truth and the saddest fact is that FAT ME was just as good in every way as THIN ME. I wasn't as big a woman as Joyce to shoulder what society dished out.
I admire all of you for holding up that banner some of us couldn't.
By-the-way, I left the practice and so did Joyce. We remain wonderful friends.
