Dieting, Rex Reed, Fat Acceptance, Obesity, Women and Melissa McCarthy: The skinny on the Fat

I love Melissa McCarthy. So does my husband. NEVER  did her size summon anything negative. In fact I think he has the hots for her!      

Melissa McCarthy's "Identity Thief" opened to record numbers making it one of the best attended debuts of a comedy in all time.  But Rex Reed, a curmudgeon of a man, did not just bash her movie—instead he called her a female hippo, obese, tractor sized and "comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success."

Have you ever sen this man?  Google his name.  He ain't no lightweight.  RUTHLESS REX came out of his closet, one he knows well, to steal her moment. But "Rex, the shoplifter Reed," knows all about stealing. (Rex Reed blames his arrest on fever of forgetfulness", USA Today, February 17, 2000.)  He called it a lapse Did he also forget where his ass had been?  I'm sure it's been in a lot more compromising places than this woman a larger-than-life Melissa has been. 

Then again I ask what other corpulent male actors have he done this deed to- I mean the bashing. Did he ever think about vilifying Hitchcock, Dom, DeLuise, Jack Black, Orson Wells or NATHAN LANE for their girth? 

He wrote, 

"The snafus in the worst road movie since The Guilt Trip plunge Mr. Bateman and his female hippo into a motel with only a double bed, a grotesque sex scene with a pickled reprobate she picks up in a bar who demands a threesome, a violent bar fight that bloodies his nose, a kidnapping, a multi-car collision going the wrong way on the freeway … but why go on? They seem to be making it up as they go along, in a movie that threatens never to end. . . Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) is a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success. . .  Poor Jason Bateman. How did an actor so charming, talented, attractive and versatile get stuck in so much dreck? From

 http://observer.com/2013/02/declined-in-identity-thief-batemans-bankable-billing-cant-lift-this-flick-out-of-the-red/

Rex, are you jealous?  

Cacophonous, you also called her.

ca·coph·o·nous  [kuh-kof-uh-nuhs]  adjective

Having a harsh or discordant sound.  

 That's what YOUR words summon.  They assaulted my ears just as much as fag, drunkard, junkie, or shit-packer might.  I raised five children and the're all better behaved than you.  Is this your regular paradigm for treating a bad movie review?  Insult the qualities, attributes or the personal-self of the actors?  What if the actor was an alcoholic or drug addict? How about gay? 

Well, Mr. Reed, this is some kind of strange (I could have used another word and given you a taste of your own medicine) bias you've shown.  Slam the movie, but debasing the actress for her appearance?  It seems like you've been stuck in a lot of dreck (Shit in Yiddish) yourself.  You should know better.

Then you used the constitution to fortify your dreck-filled mouth.  YOU of all people!  And I'm not talking about the oppressed group of idiots and shoplifters.  Just take you old ass to the boonies and see how much of those farm boys and cow hands would take kindly to you.  Truth is—my skinny ass would be right at your side. 

"Saying that his jerky comments are "constitutionally protected, so there's nothing anybody can do," Reed dragged out a conspiracy theory claiming that Universal Pictures was using his review to leverage moviegoers to buy tickets."

http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/rex-reed-says-melissa-mccarthy-bases-career-on-being-obnoxious-and-fat-invokes-constitution-for-his-right-to-be-a-jerk-20130211

On Twitter, Paul Feig, who directed McCarthy in Bridesmaids and The Heat, wrote, "I cordially invite Mr. Rex Reed to go fuck himself." (From Wikipedia  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Reed )

I think your miserable self has been doing that- for a long time.

Rex Reed is a figment in his own imagination. 

I just asked my husband to read this.  "Yeah, I love funny women.  Maybe Melissa might get a chance with me. . ."  

Fat-hate is destructive and what was said not only targeted this actress, it hit all of us who battle those attitudes and stereotypes. e 

Lap Band and Gastric Bypass: Is it so terrible?

I had a reality check last night. It came from a literary agent.  I'm trying to get representation for my book FAT CHANCE :

I read your query letter and I see lots that's thought-provoking in your presentation. Unfortunately, there are two detractors against your desire to obtain a book deal.

One problem is that weight loss surgery is still viewed with suspicion by the obese, as well as many physicians, who prefer not to restrict the food entering the stomach by such radical means. The recidivism rate is also daunting, as well as the fact that there have been victims of the surgery who have lost their lives.

I thank her because she reminded me that the world sees WLS as a problem.  Despite endorsement  by every major medical group, and most insurance companies, despite the successes, the public is still fed the shitty media hype out there.

The public wants to see us Carnie or Roker up.  

"Has she gained any of her weight back," my nasty cousin asked my daughter. 

I called her and asked her if she had gained any weight since I saw her last!  

You won't get on the JOY FIT CLUB if you have cheated willpower.  I recall watching that emaciated so-called expert actually say something like this to a woman who lost over 100 pounds . . .  "AND YOU DID IT WITHOUT TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT - SURGERY."

I'm sure the producer screamed in her ear.  She lost all my respect.  I don't degrade the people who work to lose a hundred pounds!  I was one of them and I gained back every bit.  Three times, just like 96% of them will.  That is the statistic.  

I thank that agent, she gave me great advice.  Now we have to share the word about this surgery--we are vilified- like we made a pact with the devil.  

Fat acceptance move over.  We are damned if we do and damned if we don't!  

Al Rocker, Chris Christie and FAT Politics: STOP the Blame!

Today Show host,  Al Roker, debuted his memoir Never Goin' Back: Winning the Weight-Loss Battle For Good,  he revealed two of the worst comments he has faced.  First, he cheated willpower by having weight loss surgery.  Second, people liked him better when he was fat.

In February 2013,  New Jersey Governor Chris Christie fired back at a former White House doctor who called attention to his weight. "It's almost a like a time bomb waiting to happen unless he addresses those issues before running for office," Connie Mariano said. 

Christie called her comment "out of line."

The Obese can't win!  They are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Millions of opinions later the public is still divided—is it bullying to ask someone to shape up and get healthy?  The public says, "no!" Can it disqualify one from the Presidency?  They say, "yes!"  Does weight loss surgery cheat willpower and make one less of a person?  The public screams, "absolutely!"  Dieting is a solitary effort but few realize what the social world feeds the obese us.  Society vilifies the obese and reminiscent of the early AIDS epidemic, holds them directly accountable.  After all, you can choose what you put in your mouth.

How much do we vilify the obese?

In a study of attitudes on obesity Glen Gaesser revealed  that college students would chose to marry a criminal, embezzler, drug user, shoplifter, or blind person rather than a fat person.  Over half of young women would rather be run over by a truck than be obese and two-thirds would rather be stupid or mean than fat.

·         46% would give a year of life

·         30% would rather go through a divorce

·         35% would rather be severely depressed

·         24% would give up three years of life

64% of all Americans are overweight.  Shockingly even some of the overweight and obese derogate  each other.  There is always someone worse off.  

TIP: Is it any wonder why we self-loath when we gain weight?  YOU many not be the failure. Punch society for some of that contribution. 

We Like Our Friends Fat

We like our fat friends but we like our friends fat. Women seem to enjoy the company of their fat friends.  It makes them feel better.  After all, thin is in and image and weight is a national obbsession. 

Kate Moss with two fat girls.  It's iconic. The last thing your skinny friends want is for you to be skinnier.  It might have to do with evolution.  A few hundred or thousand years ago they might have seen the skinny as ready to drop dead, but the tides of weight have turned.  It seems that women compete for men and since men like attractive THIN women, bigger women are the disadvantaged.  What better way for that thin woman to show off her beauty than be in the company of dullards and fatties. I was adored by my thin buddies.  Or so I thought.    

"Oh I'm sooo FAT," she croons as she slips into a size 6 and I'm lucky to fit into a 20 with stretch.  (That was 10 years back!) 

I know you've heard it.  They do it for a reason--everyone needs to know someone less fortunate than they are.  What I say?  Fight back.  There is a hen-pecking order and when women loose weight or look better, some of their so-called friends just can't accept it.  I lost 150 pounds. and never had plsatic surgery. 

When I became divalicious I lost a few of them.  There I was walking down the hallways where I worked in size 6 jeans, turtleneck and a hip belt.  I didn't shove it in their face.  I wore a tailored suit jacket and always was a LADY.  "You changed," said one work buddy.  Yes, but I was still the same person inside.  She could not adjust to the fact that I was attractive.   A few days later she took me to lunch and demanded I accept the Tira-mi-su for desert.  I refused and soon thereafter our 20 year friendship was done. 

 Where are you in this mix?  I'd like to know.  I slip into the size 6 now.  I am always the elegant lady (look below).   But I would NEVER think of rubbing that fact into anyone's face.

Kate moss with her fat friends

 

Lady like and having fun after losing 150 pounds 

 

What happened to that 300 pound woman they knew?  The one who ran from pictures? I don't know but this one is living!

Fat Shame and Fat Hate -Fact of the Week

Today I received an Email form a WLS buddy who was having a bad day.  Three years out and she went and ate carrot cake. Just a slice.  But she was so disappointed in herself.  I once ate an entire cake-in the car- and used the cardboard box as a shovel! 

When I was twice my size I have no doubt that my shame drove up my stress.  Every dieting failure, insult or look ramped up my cortisol levels and triggered an eating reaction.  That's what nature intended--our ancestors faced constant starvation and our bodies are wired to sooth stress with food.   Our fat cells became eager puppies, ready to sop up all those calories-and store them and to add insult to injury we got a big dose of Gherlin to stimulate more hunger.  While some of us no longer have to obsess about dieting failures we need to remember that everyday stress and feeling we might not be on track can also exacerbate stress.  How can we combat that bugger?  Give yourself a break,  Take a walk, exercise, smile, watch a funny movie, blog, and keep away from food cues.  Don't beat yourself up.  No one is perfect.  By the way don't you just hate prefect people?  I laughed at that piece of carrot cake and then i told her how I arrived to my mother-in-laws birthday-only I had to stop on the way and buy a crappy supermarket substitute. 
'What happened to the idea of the carrot cake," asked my daughter.
I tongued my lips to get rid of the last bit of evidence,
"The bakery ran out," I lied.  "Can you believe it?"

Have a laugh.  I love all of you. Please share your stories! 

dawnmhopper@gmail. 

Shirking From the Camera -Fat and Fab?

Yes, that's me.  Ten years or more ago.  And that wasn't my biggest. . .zuchinni.  In fact I can't even find pictures because I shirked from the camera. 

My story is every desperate obese story.  Except in one way.  Psychologist. 

Fat Chance

       On October 1st 2012, WKBT Anchor Jennifer Livingston received a victimizing email which accused her of making the “choice” of being obese and setting a bad example for the community's young people, girls in particular…” Her spirited response went viral on YouTube and is being covered by all the news networks.

            Hundreds of thousands opinions later show that the public is divided—is it really bullying to ask another human being to shape up and get healthy?  Is someone's size really our business?  As a once 300 pound psychologist I lived on the cutting edge of that razor—and there's no easy answer. 
            Distaste of the obese is a knee jerk reaction—deep and complex,  fat-hate is as resistant to disappearing as is that extra hundred pounds. Why? Because we believe weight is under our control. 

I disagree.  I once topped the scales at over 300 pounds.  This blog takes aim at society that fat-shames, fat-hates but realizes that Weight Loss Surgery might be our best option.