Is Fat Acceptance and Weight Loss Surgery at Odds? Can the Slimosphere and Fatosphere Share Space?

Big Fat Blog is an interesting place to visit. . . .

Shame on anyone for thinking that WLS patients or advocates are sizists. I will always be that fat woman.  Always. Unfortunately she was not working for me and I am a hell of a lot more content with a light body to carry around with my degenerative arthritis, Lupus, intermittent brain swelling and joints that are too flexible . . .but most of all I am happy to have lost the burden of shame and ridicule -most of which is disguised in everyday interaction. 

Unless you have a hidden camera or recording device you'll have no idea what they say about you behind your back! 

A few years back I sat on a committee where we interviewed applicant for a therapist position.  
Joyce was big, really big but by far she was the best choice- as fora as I was concerned.  The group met on a Sunday over breakfast while we went though the applications.  No one in the group knew me as the 300-pounder I once was or they wouldn't have said what they did that morning.

"Joyce obviously can't handle anyone with an eating disorder," giggled Sandy.  I knew Sandy did have an eating disorder, bulimia, one she kept hidden form our group but I smelled when she left the bathroom with puke on her breath.

"Oh my God, can you imagine going out to lunch with her," laughed Terry. I ate lunch with terry for years; she was a cheap bitch who never paid her share, ate of my plate and then had the nerve to sneak money from the tip.

As they went around the table I had time to search my purse for my business card, the one i use when i run weight groups.  I keep them on me, one side shows me at in underwear, topping the scales at 300+ and the other side half of me.  Under the pictures is the sentence: Which Woman Would You Hire as Your Therapist? 

I flipped the picture-card out, threw down a $20 and left.
Joyce was hired. The truth and the saddest fact is that FAT ME was just as good in every way as THIN ME.  I wasn't as big a woman as Joyce to shoulder what society dished out.

I admire all of you for holding up that banner some of us couldn't.

By-the-way, I left the practice and so did Joyce.  We remain wonderful friends.    

Fat Shame and Fat Hate -Fact of the Week

Today I received an Email form a WLS buddy who was having a bad day.  Three years out and she went and ate carrot cake. Just a slice.  But she was so disappointed in herself.  I once ate an entire cake-in the car- and used the cardboard box as a shovel! 

When I was twice my size I have no doubt that my shame drove up my stress.  Every dieting failure, insult or look ramped up my cortisol levels and triggered an eating reaction.  That's what nature intended--our ancestors faced constant starvation and our bodies are wired to sooth stress with food.   Our fat cells became eager puppies, ready to sop up all those calories-and store them and to add insult to injury we got a big dose of Gherlin to stimulate more hunger.  While some of us no longer have to obsess about dieting failures we need to remember that everyday stress and feeling we might not be on track can also exacerbate stress.  How can we combat that bugger?  Give yourself a break,  Take a walk, exercise, smile, watch a funny movie, blog, and keep away from food cues.  Don't beat yourself up.  No one is perfect.  By the way don't you just hate prefect people?  I laughed at that piece of carrot cake and then i told her how I arrived to my mother-in-laws birthday-only I had to stop on the way and buy a crappy supermarket substitute. 
'What happened to the idea of the carrot cake," asked my daughter.
I tongued my lips to get rid of the last bit of evidence,
"The bakery ran out," I lied.  "Can you believe it?"

Have a laugh.  I love all of you. Please share your stories! 

dawnmhopper@gmail.